It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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