How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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