I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
