Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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