Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
