Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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