I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I miss vodka workout Fridays
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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