i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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