Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
If that was your dad, he is hot
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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