you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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