Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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