now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Randomize
