i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I want a musical about memes.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
