What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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