Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
