he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
