Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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