dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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