You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
