How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
