so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
