honey bunches of taint.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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