I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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