I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
