how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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