You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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