his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
