okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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