So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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