who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
