5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
