My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
