____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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