i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
