paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
