Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
