My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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