Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
