we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
