I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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