Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
i think my cat just said my name.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
All I want is dick and wine.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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