It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
