She is in my trunk
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
