i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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