No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Can you bring me the toilet please
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
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