2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
