Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
She told me I should be a condom model.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
