smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
vagina is talking i cant
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
