I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize