Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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