Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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