Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Randomize