i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
accomplished twins. life is a go
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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