Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
