She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
