to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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