I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
