I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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