Joe is yelling at the trees again.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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