its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
