obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
