Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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