dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
