We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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