All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Randomize
