But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I fill condoms, not promises.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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