the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
