hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
My bed smells like the plague
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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