We're like a lot better than the average bears
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
